I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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