Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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