Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
