She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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