I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
