I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
