she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
