i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Randomize
