I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
