She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I have post one night stand depression
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
