But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
