Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
