is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
