I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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