I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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