The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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