Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
