sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
