I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
