i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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