I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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