Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
