East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
