Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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