So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
