My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
