Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
