Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The power of my boobs compel you
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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