I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
well you can't waste a boner
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
