K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
