You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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