Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
we're so committed to being not committed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
