how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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