are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
