i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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