Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
