I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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