it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
