dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
