tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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