Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
