Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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