you guys were way drunker than both of me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
