Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
