looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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