hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
