If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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