i just wanna soil my oats bro
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
