I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
