Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
